I believe that to be a better person, you have to practice continual improvement of mind, spirit, and body. That last part- body, something I have been working on for a few years now- is why I find the below new gym rules from the WSJ so interesting, a little bit funny, and if you are avid gym (border line power lifter/bodybuilder) goer like myself also a little appalling. My comments are added.
The rules were originally written by Jason Gay
1. The first three months at the gym, you will not lose a drastic amount of weight. However, you will learn an amazing amount about Drew Barrymore while watching "Access Hollywood" on the elliptical trainer.
(Tip: don't watch TV when you are at the gym. Work a little. No actually work a lot and pick up some weights, literally.)
2. Focus on technique. Have an instructor teach you proper form. If you lift a barbell like a 129-year-old man bending over to pick up a turtle, you need some help. (great point, technique is key)
3. No, you're not getting a six-pack. You're just trying to take off your shirt at the beach without people running to their cars.
4. Avoid gyms next to liquor stores and Cinnabons.(get some will power)
5. Consider investing in one of those fancy computer wristbands that measures how many calories you burn walking between birthday cake parties in the office.(skip it, get the Nike+ app for your phone/ipod)
6. Here's a helpful rule on gym clothing. If you're not sure your shirt smells? Your shirt smells. (if you smell you are doing something right)
7. Everyone's accidentally thrown a gym towel into the trash barrel. Everyone.
8. The scale in the locker room weighs everything seven pounds heavier. Do NOT dispute this. The psychological stability of the entire gym membership depends on this. (keep telling yourself stories if you want to feel better about yourself)
9. Every gym in the U.S. has an indestructible issue of People magazine with Katie Holmes on the cover. You can throw it into the recycling, and two weeks later, it will be there, sitting on a treadmill, open to the Katie Holmes article. (I have seen that copy)
10. It's fun to take an exotic gym class. But be careful: If you talk too much about your "Extreme Javelin" class to your co-workers, pretty soon your nickname behind your back in the office is going to be "Extreme Javelin." Hey did you talk to Extreme Javelin about that report? Is Extreme Javelin coming to the 3 p.m. meeting? (Exotic gym classes are four one thing only, so you tell someone, pick up a weight a run instead)
11. Squat! You hear people say this and it's true. If you're not doing squats, just stop going to the gym and take $100 and set it on fire in a garbage barrel once a month. (One of the best exercises there is. Part of the four pillars within include bench press, dead lift, and shoulder press.)
12. The most intimate, personal thing on anyone's phone is the WORKOUT JAM TUNES MIX. That's where the Ace of Base and Men Without Hats hides.
13. The Clint Eastwood move in any gym is to walk up to the TV in a packed room full of ellipticals and treadmills, change it over to The History Channel, and light a cigar.
14. Nutrition is a half of the exercise battle. For real. Do not conquer the gym and then conquer The Cheesecake Factory. (so true)
15. Everybody has Gym Friends, people they know only from the gym. This is important and humanizing. You may have accomplished great and sophisticated things in the outside world, but to them, you're just The Weird Guy Who Jumps Rope Like A Goat.
16. Someone really needs to start a gym chain called Bench Press and Stare at the Wall for people who just go to the gym and Bench Press and Stare at the Wall. (staring at the wall is fine. I don't see any bid deal here. The amount you can/should stare at the wall is directly proportional to how much you just lifted. Besides, the wall may make you less creepy looking than starring at the attractive person on the elliptical.)
17. Wow you really just took a phone call in spinning class? Amazing. (follow up to #13, take and throw the phone of someone talking on it. If you have time, or the breadth, to talk on the phone at the gym you not working hard enough.)
1 8. Make sure to read every gym contract carefully. That gym you signed up for in 1989, in the city where you used to live? Check your credit card statement. You're still paying $12.99 a month through 2092. (I can vouch for that.)
19. Every yoga class has a few show-offs who can't wait to get to the handstands. Just let them do their handstands and get it over with. (if you can do, why not.)
20. Most hotels do not have gyms. They have a busted treadmill, a dusty exercise ball, and a sad TV that only gets Dr. Phil. (god this is so true.)
21. You know that CEO who claims to be working out every morning at 3:45 a. m.? Ha! The CEO just said that to a reporter once to sound tough. Totally wakes up at 8:30 a.m. and eats a huge pile of pancakes.
22. The best gym on earth is outside, and it's totally free.(amen)
23. Everyone looks good doing dumbbell curls in the mirror. That's why people do dumbbell curls in the mirror. But do other stuff, too, Narcissus.
24. Always end every gym class by shouting "I win! I win! I win!" at the top of your lungs, grabbing your stuff, and running out the door, laughing maniacally.
25. A visit to the gym is always better than nachos and margaritas. OK that's a total lie. Nachos and margaritas rule. But go to the gym the next day, OK?
The rules were originally written by Jason Gay
1. The first three months at the gym, you will not lose a drastic amount of weight. However, you will learn an amazing amount about Drew Barrymore while watching "Access Hollywood" on the elliptical trainer.
(Tip: don't watch TV when you are at the gym. Work a little. No actually work a lot and pick up some weights, literally.)
2. Focus on technique. Have an instructor teach you proper form. If you lift a barbell like a 129-year-old man bending over to pick up a turtle, you need some help. (great point, technique is key)
3. No, you're not getting a six-pack. You're just trying to take off your shirt at the beach without people running to their cars.
4. Avoid gyms next to liquor stores and Cinnabons.(get some will power)
5. Consider investing in one of those fancy computer wristbands that measures how many calories you burn walking between birthday cake parties in the office.(skip it, get the Nike+ app for your phone/ipod)
7. Everyone's accidentally thrown a gym towel into the trash barrel. Everyone.
8. The scale in the locker room weighs everything seven pounds heavier. Do NOT dispute this. The psychological stability of the entire gym membership depends on this. (keep telling yourself stories if you want to feel better about yourself)
9. Every gym in the U.S. has an indestructible issue of People magazine with Katie Holmes on the cover. You can throw it into the recycling, and two weeks later, it will be there, sitting on a treadmill, open to the Katie Holmes article. (I have seen that copy)
10. It's fun to take an exotic gym class. But be careful: If you talk too much about your "Extreme Javelin" class to your co-workers, pretty soon your nickname behind your back in the office is going to be "Extreme Javelin." Hey did you talk to Extreme Javelin about that report? Is Extreme Javelin coming to the 3 p.m. meeting? (Exotic gym classes are four one thing only, so you tell someone, pick up a weight a run instead)
11. Squat! You hear people say this and it's true. If you're not doing squats, just stop going to the gym and take $100 and set it on fire in a garbage barrel once a month. (One of the best exercises there is. Part of the four pillars within include bench press, dead lift, and shoulder press.)
12. The most intimate, personal thing on anyone's phone is the WORKOUT JAM TUNES MIX. That's where the Ace of Base and Men Without Hats hides.
13. The Clint Eastwood move in any gym is to walk up to the TV in a packed room full of ellipticals and treadmills, change it over to The History Channel, and light a cigar.
14. Nutrition is a half of the exercise battle. For real. Do not conquer the gym and then conquer The Cheesecake Factory. (so true)
15. Everybody has Gym Friends, people they know only from the gym. This is important and humanizing. You may have accomplished great and sophisticated things in the outside world, but to them, you're just The Weird Guy Who Jumps Rope Like A Goat.
16. Someone really needs to start a gym chain called Bench Press and Stare at the Wall for people who just go to the gym and Bench Press and Stare at the Wall. (staring at the wall is fine. I don't see any bid deal here. The amount you can/should stare at the wall is directly proportional to how much you just lifted. Besides, the wall may make you less creepy looking than starring at the attractive person on the elliptical.)
17. Wow you really just took a phone call in spinning class? Amazing. (follow up to #13, take and throw the phone of someone talking on it. If you have time, or the breadth, to talk on the phone at the gym you not working hard enough.)
1 8. Make sure to read every gym contract carefully. That gym you signed up for in 1989, in the city where you used to live? Check your credit card statement. You're still paying $12.99 a month through 2092. (I can vouch for that.)
19. Every yoga class has a few show-offs who can't wait to get to the handstands. Just let them do their handstands and get it over with. (if you can do, why not.)
20. Most hotels do not have gyms. They have a busted treadmill, a dusty exercise ball, and a sad TV that only gets Dr. Phil. (god this is so true.)
21. You know that CEO who claims to be working out every morning at 3:45 a. m.? Ha! The CEO just said that to a reporter once to sound tough. Totally wakes up at 8:30 a.m. and eats a huge pile of pancakes.
22. The best gym on earth is outside, and it's totally free.(amen)
23. Everyone looks good doing dumbbell curls in the mirror. That's why people do dumbbell curls in the mirror. But do other stuff, too, Narcissus.
24. Always end every gym class by shouting "I win! I win! I win!" at the top of your lungs, grabbing your stuff, and running out the door, laughing maniacally.
25. A visit to the gym is always better than nachos and margaritas. OK that's a total lie. Nachos and margaritas rule. But go to the gym the next day, OK?
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